So, you want to buy that jacket. I know the jacket, because I want it too. It’s at that clothing store where the beautiful people shop, with their designer heels a little too high, their handbags a little too gaudy, and their sunglasses, definitely their sunglass, a little too everything. They are waited upon by those clerks, excuse me those associates, with their clothes a little too tight, their hair a little too gelled, speaking into those headset microphones in hushed tones, like the popular kids used to do in high school. The jacket is there, on the mannequin, raised up on a table, a pedestal really. It’s over jeans that are a little too dark, with shoes and a belt a little too light, and a scarf jauntily thrown over its neck. It says in that free and easy kind of way, “Ha, look at me, I’m so special.” You know how good that will feel on you: soft, rippling, hugging. You know how good you will look in it: tailored, stylish, sophisticated.
For me, food can be that way. Don’t get me wrong, I still want that jacket too, but I can just as yearningly look at that roast in the meat counter. Roast is the wrong word, too Midwestern. Tenderloin is better. That word has it all. It describes a place on the animal, it describes a feeling, it describes a place in ourselves where we all want to go. Still, at $20 a pound you hesitate. That’s a lot of money, but you think to yourself, this isn’t just a filet. This is 3 pounds of crusty charred on the outside, meltingly soft on the inside, primal meat-eating bliss. It’s not shaped like a tenderloin, long and slender, it’s shaped more like a roast. You ask the butcher, “Is that the Chateaubriand cut?” You heard somewhere that’s the larger part of the tenderloin at the end that can look like a roast. While you are curious, you are really just stalling, putting off this decision on whether you should splurge on yourself, whether you are worth this delicacy. The butcher doesn’t know (about the cut, not your worth), but he does agree to sell it to you for $15 a pound. “It’s the last one, they’ve been quite popular,” he says. He knows how to push buttons like any good clothing boutique associate: sale, rarity, popularity. You say yes, not because you really decided yes, but because your inner self forces you to say yes. The one that for some says, “Damn it, I’m worth it” or for those who already know they are worth it also knows that this is an expression of how you love yourself and how good it feels to feel good inside. You want that feeling. You feel it sometimes. You want to feel it again. So, whether you’re staring at the counter or at the mannequin, listen to that voice. Take that tenderloin home today.
Ingredients:
2-3 lb beef tenderloin
salt/pepper
2 tbsp olive oil
Directions:
Preheat the oven for 500 degrees F. Season the roast with salt and pepper and leave out for 1/2 an hour to come to room temperature. Preheat a skillet to medium-high heat. Add the oil and when just smoking add the tenderloin. Brown on all sides a few minutes to form a nice crust and then put into the oven. Roast the tenderloin until a food thermometer reads 120 degrees. Remove to a plate and cover with foil. The roast will continue cooking while it rests. After 10 minutes, the roast should be medium rare. Slice into thick medallions and serve.
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